I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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