D3 body, D1 cock
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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