Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
