I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
