There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
