Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm at about main and main street
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
