First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
