i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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