i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
