I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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