I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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