now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
