thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
