operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
