he looks like a really good dad on facebook
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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