U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
