Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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