Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
