So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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