swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
