i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
