Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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