I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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