Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
