yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
