I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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