I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
how drunk are you?
Several
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
