If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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