she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
