Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
