I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize