i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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