Hey man sorry I got all grabby
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
