She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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