I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
