what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
