I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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