the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
