"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize