come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
