Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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