i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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