Acid is not a monday night drug
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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