my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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