is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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