TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
