gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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