Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
