my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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