Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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