Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
