a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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