take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
