I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
