I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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