VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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