Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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