I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
God I need to hump something, right now.
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