yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
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after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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