good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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