Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
