Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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