I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
The beer is more important than you right now.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
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And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
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Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
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