She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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