come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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