Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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